I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
