hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
