so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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