Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
