I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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