If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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