my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
