wanna go halves on a baby?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
