Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
