See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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