oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
