Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this just has baby written all over it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
