You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need water and some morals
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
