Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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