i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
