Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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