hotel room ftw
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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