i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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