Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
