I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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