Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
