if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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