it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
