East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
