Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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