I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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