I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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