I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
