My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
