I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
