I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
