Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
