READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
