can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
