I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
