How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
