my sisters under your porch take her home
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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