I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
