i don't like sucking hair
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
