Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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