Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i think im in europe. pls send help
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
