I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
