i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
