Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
be right there i have to get my cape
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
