I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
