Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
