Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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