yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
