The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
