To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
