I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
